Death's contenance

I have come to another realization that confirms my belief that I will become a Reaper when I pass on. All my life I have had a love for everyone and everything. But it isn't love like normal humanity sees it. It is all love in all it's forms. With that said, I also have the ability to cause pain and suffering and anger those I show love to unpurposefully. Like Death, I love and cause misery. I feel all emotions for everything. Friendly love, family love, sensual love, etc. I cannot love everyone in this manner simply because they wouldn't understand. My husband barely does. I have, in all ways, embodied Death and it's many fascets without actually trying. I love, lose, and feel remorse, sorrow, and anger over everything. My love is something more complex than even I'm willing to admit. This is why I do not like getting close to people or showing any sort of emotion. I have the tendency to misconstrue the initial feeling, but I do not retract it for fear of hurting the person. I think this is why I have done things in the past, such as showing people attention or friendship and then having them take it too far and then I'm unable to back away because I don't want to hurt a person's feelings. It would be easier to tell the truth, yes, but either way I feel pain from it all. I can only hope that you understand what it is I'm trying to say. I a human, but my soul is not and even now I feel my soul screaming to embrace it's full potential. Unfortunately my shell of a body is not ready to relinguish the essence. My time hasn't come, but I feel that even when it is, I will not fear and I will embrace all I will come to know and understand. It is the aspiration of every soul to accomplish it's agenda. It is all that it asks of us...